Yesterday was the four year anniversary of getting the keys to my house in Berkeley. Today marks nine months since I put myself and my cat on a plane and moved to Sweden. Sometimes I miss California, and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I like living here, and sometimes I don't. When I've been here a year I'll maybe have better answers to those questions.
In the meantime I'll try and figure out how to tell you about my time here so far. Each time I try to write about it, it all sounds so sad and difficult and painful—which it has been, in many ways. But it's also been good in many ways! When I talk about it, I find a way to convey the difficulty without losing sight of the humor. And not humor as a defense mechanism, either. Well, not entirely. Anyway my point is that I'd like to write about it the way I speak about it, and I'd also like to speak about it.
There's a lot to say, good things and bad. Mostly I want to get back in the habit of saying. I've spent a lot of time this past nine months unwell, and I'm trying to sort out exactly what's going on because it's made me exhausted beyond all measure. Pro tip: Try not to move countries and start a new job on your own if you also happen to be sick. It makes everything a thousand times harder, and also you get a crash course in navigating a brand new healthcare system. It does force you to rely on people and ask for help, which is very good, especially if 1) you're unaccustomed to it and 2) it turns out asking for help works (sometimes).
All this to say that every part of me feels out of shape and out of practice. Definitely my body (how did I go from yoga two, three, sometimes more times per week to this...shape) but also my brain and my ability to create. My heart too.
So hello, I miss you, I hope you're all well. Tell me how you are, please.
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